Banana heart for good luck

This Asian fire monkey no believe in superstition about Friday 13th bad luck.
But me believe in power of banana. Me blog about this before.
Now me see two banana flower cluster on tip of banana bunch.
We call this banana heart.
Puso ng saging in Tagalog.

banana heart 1
Figure 1. We call this banana heart, or puso ng saging.


Banana heart give double power to person who like to eat banana.
So if you worried about Friday 13th bad luck, worry no more.
This Asian fire monkey prepare banana heart dish for you.

Me get heart from tree, chop, cook, serve on nice china for you, free of charge.
Since me civilized monkey, me no more climb banana tree.
Me use peasant scythe like in earlier blog.


banana heart 2
Figure 2. Peasant scythe threatens smug and complacent banana king.


Me first prepare basket to catch falling banana heart.
Line basket with dry banana leaves to soften fall.
Banana heart like that. Easily bruise when they fall.
We no like banana heart to suffer ugly bruise.
We like to chop banana heart to nice clean pieces.
So me put “chopped-head” basket in position.


banana heart 3
Figure 3. Prepare basket to catch falling banana heart


Now me pick nice and full banana heart.
Then me raise sharp steel blade of scythe.
No worry. All painless, single strike, clean cut.
Clear sap drip like blood, quick dry, become sticky black goo.

But no fear, it only one silly banana heart.
No undermine world peace.

banana heart 4
Figure 4. Only one silly banana heart. Chopping it off won't undermine world peace.

Me strike. Sure blow. Clean cut.
Slash! Chop!
Banana heart fall to basket.
No whimper.
One down, one more to go.

banana heart 5
Figure 5. Banana heart falls to basket. No whimper.


Me bring you take closer look.
Peel off banana heart, show bunch of many immature banana blossom inside.
Get that? Immature banana blossom. Haha.
Ill-fated blossom, no more become mature fruit.
That reason why we chop banana heart.
No place for immature blossom in global banana trade.
Good only for to bring culinary luck to hungry peasant.

banana heart 6
Figure 6. See the many immature banana blossoms inside.


Me choose another banana tree, another banana heart.
This one more miserable.
Had absolutely no chance at fruitful love.
Serves him right. Lol.
Slash! Chop!
Two down. Enough for dish.

banana heart 7
Figure 7. Miserable banana heart had no chance at fruitful love.


Now me boil some chunks beef to tender texture, in salted water.
Five cup, seven cup, is all up to you.
You eat dish anyway, not me, haha.
Black pepper optional.

Then slice two big piece onion, two big piece tomato.
Then pull out banana blossoms if still easy to peel off.
If no more easy peel off, that means you reach core of banana heart.
Chop heart core into pieces.
Chop-chop heartlessly. 2-inch or 3-inch rough cube, is up to you.
We cook evenly, you eat good anyway.

banana heart 8
Figure 8. Chop core of banana heart, heartlessly.


Put everything in pot of beef broth where we earlier boil meat.
Put everything in, except knife, fork, bowl and chopping board.
Knife and fork not easy to cook, not very edible.
Bring to boil. Simmer 15 minutes.
Or 30 minutes if banana heart still tough.
Some hearts like that, very tough.
Maybe they undergo harsh life in banana grove.

banana heart 9
Figure 9. Some banana hearts are very tough, must have undergone harsh life in banana grove.


One sign banana heart dish is cooked, when broth turn milky white and emit nutty flavor, somewhat like peanut.
Serve as is, in steaming pot.
Good with fried rice, or boiled sweet potato, or boiled cassava.

Now you know recipe.
This Asian fire monkey know by heart how to cook banana heart dish.
Me teach you basic steps.
Rest of it, learn on your own.

banana heart 10
Figure 10. You can learn how to cook banana heart dish.


There you go.
Eat my banana heart.
Good for fending off bad luck on unlucky day.
Also good for lucky date, of course.

Yum yum.


Author’s note: I posted this piece — an attempt at a “Wok with Yan” type of humor — for an anonymous blog back in 2008, on a Friday the 13th. I’m reposting it here now with minor revisions, not because we’re anywhere near a Friday the 13th, but because I’m hankering for a taste of this dish at this very moment.

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